David and Sandy
July 25, 2024 — I received sad news today that David Bangert passed away. I met David and Sandy in 2019 through Hawai'i Angels, when he and I were "Deal Honchos" on a deal. They took me out for lunch in Oahu, and I sat enthralled for hours listening to David's amazing life stories.
One day with David could change your life. It certainly changed mine.
His last letter is below.
Friends, Classmates, Neighbors, Colleagues!
I want to share with you a decision that I have made. This note is longer than I initially intended, but I feel I need to tell those with whom I've had friendships during my life’s journey, why I am about to take a dramatic step.
As you read this letter, Sandy and I are traveling to Zurich, Switzerland. Once in Switzerland, we are going to access the services of Dignitas (www.dignitas.ch) where I will be permitted to die with dignity. My health and mobility continue to decline. I do not want to end up lying in bed all day, and I am not enjoying living the life of a non-ambulatory person.
First and foremost, I am balanced challenged. I am now confined 99% of the time to sitting in a wheelchair or in bed because I cannot navigate my way across a room without falling. I constantly fear a fall and potentially breaking my 80-year-old bones. I used to resort to grasping for the surrounding furniture and walls as I inched along at a slower than snail pace, but now, my body will not allow me to do that. Also, a walker is no longer an option due to the loss of feeling in my feet, my degenerative bone condition, my flat feet, and my contorted foot configuration. This is a genetically predisposed condition inherited from my mother, which is progressively worsening, and I believe, the major contributing factor to my balance issue.
Historically, my orthopedic surgeries have been unsuccessful. My surgeries started in my military training when I had my left shoulder injured. The surgery left me unable to raise my left arm higher than my shoulder. Later at West Point, my ankle was operated on because of my Achilles tendon popping out of its groove. This resulted in a frozen ankle that will not bend properly. Some years later, a right knee replacement was needed. The specialists stated it was necessitated by my poorly functioning ankle. Since this surgery, I have been unable to bend my knee properly when I walk. Finally, I had back surgery. This last surgery resulted in not being able to walk or stand. I cannot make my feet and legs move on command.
Desiring a better life, I sought out multiple “second” opinions. My medical records were assessed at two excellent California university hospitals: Stanford, and UCSF. These two second opinions suggested additional testing, which my medical provider Kaiser performed. The new tests did not suggest the cause of my balance challenges, nor did they indicate any new successful therapies. Desperate for help, I turned to the best clinic in the US. Sandy and I traveled across the US to the Mayo clinic. For seven days, tests and assessments were performed. The recommendation was back surgery. I stayed in the clinic and had an operation by the Mayo clinic’s back specialist. Unfortunately, the surgery was a failure and resulted in a worsening of my condition; My balance was worse after I recovered from the operation. At least prior to the operation at the clinic, I could stand and walk short distances, but following the surgery, I became restricted to wheelchair use. I now resort to sliding along the wall and hanging on furniture when a transfer is necessitated: move from chair to bed, or chair to car. I have spoken to the Mayo clinic. It suggested going back there again and repeating the same tests. I decided against that course of action.
When I wake up in the morning, it takes me five minutes to transfer from the bed to my motorized wheelchair. Then, I continue to the bathroom to relieve myself, which involves a transfer from the wheelchair to the toilet. This transfer of position takes another few minutes. I have a toilet with a washer, which I use to clean myself. Following the toilet routine, I wheel into the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee using the electric, one-cup Nespresso machine. It is a struggle for me to stand and make the cup of coffee. Sandy must ensure the water reservoir is full before bed so that I can independently have coffee in the morning. Then, I read my emails and the on-line newspaper on my iPad. Reading a printed newspaper is not possible because of my manual dexterity. I spend my entire day in my motorized wheelchair. This has been my daily routine for the past two years.
Four or five days a week, I have physical therapy. I use two trainers, both of which come to my home. My routine is similar with each trainer. They work with me for two hours. We do strengthen exercises, and they help me shower. I cannot go into the shower without assistance. My caregiver/trainer washes and dries me. I have a shower stool which I sit on. My strength is not improving, if anything, it is declining. I can see this in the weights that I'm able to lift and the duration of my cycles on the stationary bicycle.
Besides reading the newspaper and watching television, my day is very quiet. This is not the life that I am used to. I am used to having more stimulation and being involved in challenging situations. I have the good fortune of being a graduate from two world renowned institutions of higher learning: the Military Academy at West Point and Harvard Business School, (PhD in decision sciences). I am not used to not being able to physically do things. After military academy, I successfully completed Ranger and airborne school. In my forties, I walked around the Annapurna Massive in Nepal, 22 days of walking and staying in tents. In the past, my life has always been an active one.
Also, I am not as mentally sharp as I used to be. I often cannot remember the names of people and street names, places I have been, what I just ate, who I was with, investments I made yesterday... I have always been organized up till late, and now, I find myself (with Sandy helping me) looking for my lost wallet or keys for hours. For example, I suddenly forgot how to use the remote for the TV after using it for months successfully. I am transferring the responsibility for managing our wealth to Sandy. We spend time every day discussing our investments and decisions she will have to make. Tasks such as writing this letter are challenging. My typing is reduced to dictation plus two-finger typing. Sandy is helping me with this task.
In my late 30s and early 40s, I managed the first phase of the construction of a city in Saudi Arabia. I had a direct staff of 150 professionals who, through contracts, managed a workforce of 20,000 workers. Following the seven years in Saudi Arabia, I went to Hawaii in search of what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I enrolled in the MBA program and about halfway through decided that being a professor would suit me. I came to understand that the culture of universities requires getting a quality doctorate. I was fortunate to be accepted at the four programs for which I applied: Harvard Business School, Stanford, Pittsburgh, and New York University. I went to Harvard and completed the doctoral program in 2 1/2 years, which is considered fast. The typical time to get a doctorate from Harvard is 4 1/2 years.
In the past, I have written hundreds of letters with ease. Now writing a letter, even one as important as this letter, is a struggle. It should not be a struggle. I am tired of struggling.
I am fortunate to have a supportive wife who understands my frustration. We are affectionate, kiss multiple times a day and hold hands. Although we go to dinners, theater and other functions, the struggle to get to the venue exhausts me. I often think it is not worth the effort.
I will be cremated in Zurich and the ashes will be mailed to Honolulu. From Switzerland, Sandy plans to go to her hometown of Kelowna, British Columbia for a short time. There, she will be with her family.
Afterwards, she will return to Honolulu. She plans to bring the ashes to West Point in 2025 at my Class’s reunion for placement in the West Point cemetery.
Thank you for being good friends. I enjoyed our time. Please continue to interact regularly with Sandy. I know she greatly values your time together.
David
RIP David.